Tuesday, May 27, 2008
i don't think i have decided to blog again. simply because it's too much of a hassle. though i do enjoy reading other people's blogs. (: i think it shall just be something i do once a month. or not.
anyway just wanna thank God for everything He has blessed me with, including 'A's results and applying for uni course, etc etc. forever grateful. =)

like seriously wondering whether i should write about my life. though i know it's kinda pointless. cos all i would do is rant about irritating people and the things they do to irritate me. reading about people reading other people's blogs makes me think of how dangerous it is to write your opinions online. confidentiality issues and stuff. and you thought it was a free world. haha.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

would someone please tell me how am i going to get my 4As?
rar.
im so pissed off.
i need to find the right motivation to study.
and that is of course, not studying for others, but for myself and for the glory of God.
it's so irritating that some people who don't deserve certain things get it in the end.
i guess it's an unfair world.
no one's gonna get everything they deserve.
even God's grace was undeserved.
so who am i to question.
oh well.
i better start practising for my music.
it's the only subject im not sure of.
=(
you think, could i still consider medicine?
what other options do i have?
maybe i'll go study some physiology thing. RARRRRRRR.
or can i just not go to uni please.
=(

syf was an eye-opening experience.
the most fruitful thing was meeting farah and charmaine and all the rest again. =)
i miss them lots lots lots.
i wonder how would life be like if i went to vj instead. haha
rar.

sorry for my rar-ness. haha.

settler's cafe at church today was kinda cool. although the game of life was SUPER long. haha.
they should do it regularly. like maybe quarterly. it's fun. =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM. =)

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Going out with retarded four today made life seem a lot more simple.
Talking to kellyn on the way home made me think.
Think about the past.
How fast time flies.
We were even talking about sec 1 orientation and how we first met. Haha.
Sometimes I think me and kellyn are really rather similar. Especially in the way we deal with things.
I also talked to shu at mph. it was, rather deep talk. Haha. Or at least it was for me. It made me think. Amazing how today is such a thinking day. AND we are similar too! we both wanna have shelves of books so we can read when we have nothing to do. =) im looking forward to that day. heh.
i found a birthday present for mom. but i dont really have much money to spare. rar.
sigh. i realised i havent blogged in ages.

ADVERTISEMENT FOR TJC CHAMBER ENSEMBLE:
PAS DE DEUX : A Dance for Two
27th May 2007
5pm
tickets at $10
Lee Foundation Theatre (NAFA Auditorium)
piano ensemble + string ensemble.
feel the love. =)

Friday, March 16, 2007

the holidays are almost over.
can't believe how fast it passed.
my mouse is cranking up again.
i need a new mouse.
i want a new mp3. so i can store more songs.
i need a new laptop. so they wont keep asking me to clear my hard disk. haha.
i need a swim. a good long hard swim. swim non stop. i need it.
i wonder if im allowed to train anymore.
am i welcomed? HAHA.
i need more seaweed crackers. they're my bingeing food. i can eat it nonstop.
i know what im going to do after im done blogging.
i shall go chow on my haggen daz strawberry cheesecake. (=
that would make me a BIT happier.
i feel like dancing.
i can't believe SHU went pubbing HAHA.
sigh. im so bored.
i've been stuck at home the whole day.
i shall study.
MUG.
mug from 430 until 630. =) yays.
i must be motivated.
not be distracted by unimportant things. HMPH!





do not disturb.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

today.
it's just another ordinary day.
in fact, it feels a little lower than ordinary.
the only special thing is i only sent 3 messages the whole day.
but other than that.
nah.
it's nothing special.

when i look up into the stars at night, i think about cambodia.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

after the overnighter, i really truly wanted a new start. i wanted the chance to erase everything and like really start over. but realistically, that's impossible. i'm trying. but everything is going against me. i just need someone to believe in me. sadly, some people choose not to.
sometimes i wonder why people get so emo over things. things that probably don't matter. but i guess everyone's like that. i guess in some ways, if you don't get too emotionally involved in anything, then you're kinda "safe" from any kind of hurt. maybe it's time to start building that wall again.

dysfunctional.
sometimes i question the concept of family.
isn't a family supposed to stick together during rough times?
and not leave each other in the lurch, or demand the impossible?
are they not supposed to help each other?

you know, people become emo cos they think too much.
i should really stop thinking.
but if i stop thinking, i'll become a vegetable.
vegetables taste disgusting. some of them anyway.
so i still should think.
but perhaps, think of more edifying things.

on a brighter note, easter is coming! i like easter. =)
i did vertical marathon on 25 feb 2007.
it was fun. =) climbing and climbing.
there's like no way out.

that day, i thought of an analogy.
sometimes life can be like a vertical marathon.
there's only one way to move, and that is up.
what's behind is in the past. you can't turn back, or else you wouldn't succeed.
it's tiring. and many times you feel like giving up.
you try and grab hold of the railings for support, but sometimes, it's just not enough.
you look at the number of storeys you have climbed.
you think about how many storeys you have left to climb.
it seems so daunting. and the temptation to quit is so great.

you give yourself a cup of water as a reward for making it this far.
finally you reach the last level.
you put in all your effort to lift up your legs and climb climb climb.
some of your friends in the race help to motivate you and push you and support you.
and finally, you reach the top.
and you'll find that it's all worthwhile.
sometimes, halfway you may feel like giving up, but don't.
cos you don't know what's in store for you yet.
so just hold on. =)

Saturday, February 10, 2007

i just feel so crappy.
i don't know why.
i think its post-ms.
yesterday i felt a little anti-climax, like what wen yuan mentioned.
maybe it's time to not feel so embarrassed.
maybe it's time to just grow up.
sigh. i just miss everything so much.

i remember a conversation with zheya about what we wanna do with our lives.
i remember us both mentioning that we both didnt know what to do.
people say you're supposed to do what you like.
well, i like to sing and dance.
but am i good enough to do that as a career?
obviously not.
sometimes i wish i was born in russia.
maybe then it wouldnt be so far-fetched.
i wish i didn't give up.
i wish i could turn back time.
but i guess it's too late for that now.
so what am i going to do?
i feel so aimless. like i dont have a goal.
i better start praying and asking God what he wants for me.
HELP.

i wish you would stop snatching away the things that i hold so dear.
i wish you would stop intruding into my space.
i wish you would stop making life so difficult for me.
i wish you would remove that facade that tries too hard to cover up all that is beneath.
i wish you would have your own dreams and stop trying to steal mine.
nonetheless, i wish you success in all you want to do.
i hope you are happy.
i hope i can be happy too.